How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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