As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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