Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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