When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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