I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
