My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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