using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
