I didn't shave. On purpose
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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