I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
