I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My feet surprised me
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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