Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize