Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
