Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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