she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
