So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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