if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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