You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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