Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
