i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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