operation harelip BJ is a go
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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