screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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