Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
