The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
