SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
