I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
