I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
