So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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