haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
