There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
