Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
