there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize