I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I've blown a few things in my day
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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