Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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