I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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