the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
