So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
