what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
