You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
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