I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
