Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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