It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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