New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize