winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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