I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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