garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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