I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
