So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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