Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
