we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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