At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
