who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
