Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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