Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
