she smelled like a LAN party
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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