I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
