Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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