Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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