He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
