If i come over, it means nothing
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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