I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
