do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
