I understand Curling. That high.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
