Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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