It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
