Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
