Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
