dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
