So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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