if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
