We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
